Instead of: How do I want to feel?

10 years ago, my New Year’s Eve fireside revelation called The Desire Map came to be. Over 300,000 people resonated with the idea that “We should consider how we actually want to feel as we plan our lives.” It was a soulful take on goal setting.

[Tomorrow I’m releasing the next evolution of this movement, if I can call it that. Drop your info here if you want the full details.]

I’ve never been afraid to change my mind in public. I’m anchored to love and I’m here to evolve. And I’ve grown (one would hope, after a decade). I’ve been traversing shadow work and compassion. Moving closer to the heart center.

Here’s what I figure: we’re here to heal and live purposeful lives. And purposefulness is not predicated on feelings. You can feel sad and still do something meaningful. Even in your deepest suffering, you can bring healing to someone else’s life. I know many of us can relate to this now. We’re holding our own fears, and we’re showing up to hold others.

In my darkest moments, reaching out to check on someone else was medicine for both of us. So then, was my purpose that day about feeling happy? Nah. It was about being love.

Emotions come from the subconscious. Virtues are states of consciousness. Love is not an emotion, it’s a state of consciousness.


Desire is part of the human construct. Believe me, I have looked at this every which way and inside out. Should I relinquish worldly desires? Can desire be virtuous? Have I just swapped my Catholic hangover with New Age halo polishing?

Here’s the conclusion, and my evolution:
Feelings are beautiful information. Every feeling—when observed through the heart—helps us become more conscious (it’s the heart that expands consciousness, not the other way around). Feelings are a global positioning system for the soul.

The mind will always desire. The mind is a numinous and powerful force that manifests our realities.

How does the mind serve the heart? In virtues. In “desiring” for higher states of consciousness—Loving Kindness, Compassion, Forgiving, Resilience, Courage…

Let’s use the mind for love.

. . . . .

So… “How do I want to feel?” blossoms into a fuller question:


Honour the feelings, embody the virtues. THAT’s what this next chapter is about.

Okay. Tomorrow we launch. The path is paved and Love will lead the way. Join me here.

With Love,