My friend Jess Ortner and I had a great conversation about the downer of always trying to be up. Perfect for her podcast called Adventures in Happiness. She’s got a fresh mind and big heart (and she totally lets loose on the dance floor.) And as such, this is one of my favourite, truly useful conversations for being on the so-called “Path”. It goes like this:

  • Our intention to improve our life can backfire.

  • Underneath underzealous motivation can be self-hatred. Underneath a lot of “self-care” can be more self-hatred.

  • Goal-setting — be fierce, but be flexible — what does that look like?

  • Making progress through compassion.

  • Be careful about setting goals for the wrong reasons like pleasing parents, doing things just for the money (which, at the end of the day, is about proving).

  • Changing your mind in the 11th hour is a real act of consciousness.

  • Over-controlling = anxiety all the time.

  • The value in quitting – and viewing quitting as a skill.

  • Questions to ask yourself:

“Is this going to matter in 3 years?

Is this affecting my health or anyone I love?

Can this wait until tomorrow?

Is this pointed in the direction I want it to go?

Does this further my big vision?”

Listen to Jess and I get nitty on the gritty of self improvement: the full interview is here.