In “Spirituality for grown-ups” (Eps 1), we’re exploring the definition of spirituality… one that’s more rock ‘n’ roll than religious. More liberating than dogmatic. A definition of spirituality that allows us to be more gentle with ourselves; that embraces duality and nuance; that promotes self-agency, Real Love, and inclusiveness, and JOY.

This episode is especially for globally concerned deep-feelers. If you’re a worrier… you’re not alone. I have my own frets… Am I making myself accessible enough, but still boundaried in a healthy way? Am I effective enough? (I think about this daily.) Have I done no harm? Have I shook shit up sufficiently? The list goes on… because the more of a deep-feeler you are, the longer the list of things you feel. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What keeps me sane:

  • Community. We can’t isolate—we have to turn toward each other. Toward the mistakes, and the joy, and the rage, and the tenderness.
  • A commitment to service and transforming pain into power.
  • Self-agency. Being aware that I have a choice in how to feel and show up: and that I want to choose tenderness over brittleness, and faith over doubt.

With Love,




Reach for COMMUNITY—in suffering, and in joy.

One mark of spiritual maturity is that we are more able to allow our suffering to just flow through us… and be transformed into a nugget of wisdom. A lot of us grip onto that suffering because we think suffering gives us the right to ask for help.

1. You have the right to ask for help even if you’re not in pain. You get to ask for help because you’re in joy, and a little help from your friends will make you feel even more joyful.

2. You are always leading—you can’t help but SERVE.

You’re leading on the subway when someone cuts in front of you and you send them love. You’re leading on the parent council. You’re leading with how you leave your voice memos with kindness. You’re leading when you don’t react in anger and you wait 24 hours before you respond. That’s leadership.

I write and I speak as a way of choosing LIFE. I create as a means to feel alive. I’ll break that down: by asking God to help me be a conduit of love while I am here on this earth, I am choosing life—creation, over death—despair. I am choosing to expand instead of contract. I am choosing to wake up and reach for the joyful thought, even when my first thought might be dark, restrictive, depressed. So, I’m here to use my voice to encourage you to do the same…

“Speak because you are concerned. Speak because you are euphoric. Speak because you are moved, because you are loved, because you are touched. Speak when you are feeling blessed (and be mindful about how you speak when you’re stressed). Speak because you know that your love makes a difference. ”

3. Your SELF-AGENCY starts in the heart.

You have a choice in the matter. No matter the circumstance, you get to choose how you feel about it and how you love. You can choose grace when it’s gritty. You can choose love when there’s indifference. You can choose ways to get back to joy after despair. Self-agency is as sexy as it gets.

And when you’re exercising your freewill with intention, you’re influencing how Our Future unfolds (not just Your Future, the collective’s).

My prayer is that we will all come to agree that Real Love (capital Real, capital Love) is the solution to this mess we exist in. That we are going to choose light when there’s density, and divinity through the chaos.


The podcast guide and reflection exercise are for exploring the psychic-emotional-spiritual work this touches on.

Integrate what you heard. Download the free reflection cards for this episode.


5 Q’s for Spiritual Perspective

Well, could we start with a more all-encompassing topic than your definition of spirituality? Let’s hover over it.

  1. I used to believe that…
  2. Now I know that…
  3. I feel closest to Creation-Life when…
  4. If I could ask God-Spirit-Life one question, it would be…
  5. And God-Spirit-Life would say to me…

“Gentleness is the fruit of our spiritual work.”